Newbie Writers Podcast

Episode 14 31/12/2011

Character Assassination:

What do we love about books? What do we remember? Not what happens,
but rather, who the characters were, what they said. Why they said that.

We remember the characters we care most about. Why do we love Jane
Austen? Because of the intricate plots? Not really.
The story? Please, we know the story. What we love are the characters, the strong women who get into trouble because they blurt out what they are thinking, the handsome hero who is just misunderstood, the spunky friend from whom we wish as much happiness as we do wish for the heroine. We love a good character.

Listen to what you say when you play a movie for the fifth time, it’s not
about the plot or the story — you just want to see the hero or heroine again.
“I love him.” You murmur under your breath.

Character is why there is star power in Hollywood. Do we watch Brad Pitt
because he has a reputation for starring in great plot-driven films? No, we do
not. Some people, who will remain nameless, would be happy watching Mr.
Pitt sell laundry soap. It’s about character, charm, personality — if that sounds
like a beauty pageant, you are not too far off.

Create a great character, Sherlock Holmes, Ulysses, Beowulf, Emma,
Chewbacca, Bridget Jones and half the novel, the very important part of the novel, is done. Now, give this great character something to do.

“First, find out what your hero wants. Then just follow him.”
~Ray Bradbury

There are books and books and web sites and web sites and classes and
classes on how to create great characters. There is information on how to
describe them, make an astrological chart for them, and write up their back-
ground. You can create notes on why or how your character will behave in
a certain way given a certain situation. You can control the time line of the
character’s childhood. You can know everything about your character: favorite
color, childhood trauma; when the parent’s immigrated; the name of their
favorite pet now long dead …

All of this work can be excellent exercises, and valuable as you flex your
writing muscles; however, most writers will confess that their characters, the
good characters, are not so easily controlled. What many of us have discovered
is as soon as you think you know everything about your character and as
soon as you sit down and think, well today my character will drive to the store,
fight a dragon, and fall in love with the prince — they will not cooperate.

Like children, fictional characters are strangely resistant to The Plan. You
create the calendar of success, you’ve noted the benchmarks of development,
and you organize and strategize. You deliver the children to their piano,
trumpet, bongo lessons, you drive them to band, ballet, tumbling practices, and
you sit on the sidelines during game after game and what happens? Your child
becomes a chicken farmer, which was not on that list you created for them on
their second birthday — Careers Mom Thinks You Should Pursue.

Fictional characters will do much the same thing. Characters in your story
or novel will just blurt out comments, create their own action and in general
race away from you leaving you with very little choice except to hold on.
This is good.

The way to get a handle on the run-away character is to take notes as the
traits and details about your characters emerge on their own.
If your character tumbles out on the pages, just keep a notebook handy
and mark down the color of her eyes, size of his biceps, or kind of coffee he
drinks. That helps with the consistency as well as keeping you and your character on track. The picture will emerge. Write it down as it comes into focus.

Prompt:

”Find out who you are then do it on purpose.” – Dolly Parton

The idea of being only yourself is essential to YA novels, It’s the trope of the misfit child or the girl who doesn’t fit in – the classic ugly ducking story. What does this idea engender for you and for fictional opportunities? Do you have a character who does what they do on purpose? Do they have regrets? Are they huge, big personalities who don’t realize their potential until adulthood? Are you?

Bring out your dead:

Fashion Magazine Editors Apologize
We are sorry we encouraged women to blindly follow the dictates of male fashion designers whom we still aren’t completely sure like women at all.

We are sorry about the mini skirt every time we resurrect it.

We are sorry about Kate Moss.

We would be sorry about Manolo Blahnik shoes but the chiropractic association, the Loose Affiliation of Lumbar Surgeons and the Association of American Podiatrists have all taken to creating small shrines in their offices complete with bright pink Lobatron pumps. We are loath to disappoint such a strong lobby by even hinting that women would be better off hiking around in Birkenstocks, an invention of dubious fashion value. We hoped we atoned for that by running that article on the New York specialist who will, for a large fee, inject the soles of your feet with extra silicon to make that cushion of flesh at the ball of your foot thicker and more shock absorbent so your high heels can continue to be worn.

We are truly sorry about that quote from Donna Karan, “The new black is lighter,”
(Conversely, no one was sorry about The New Red).

We all know that Fashion is cyclical, even we are sorry the cycle came back to those dreary shirtwaist dresses from the seventies, recreated at a cost of $1000 a pop.

We’re sorry about that sales person from Barney’s who said, with great enthusiasm and wonder “You can get a whole outfit here for just under $1,000!” If what you usually hear, when leaving a store is “I got out of Sam’s Club for under $1,000” then you probably shouldn’t be reading our magazines in the first place.

Word of the Week:

BOONDOGGLE

An unnecessary or wasteful project.

This typically North American term is often applied in two specific ways, either to describe work of little or no value done merely to appear busy, or in reference to a government-funded project with no purpose other than political patronage. It can also be used for an unnecessary journey by a government official at public expense.

Part of its oddity lies in its sudden emergence into public view in an article in the New York Times on 4 April 1935. This had the headline “$3,187,000 Relief is Spent to Teach Jobless to Play … Boon Doggles Made”. The “boon doggles” of the headline turn out to be small items of leather, rope and canvas, which were being crafted by the jobless during the Great Depression as a form of make-work. The article quoted a person who taught the unemployed to create them that the word was “simply a term applied back in the pioneer days to what we call gadgets today”. He suggested that boondoggles had been small items of leatherwork which were made by cowboys on idle days as decorations for their saddles.

The word instantly became famous. It seems that Americans had been feeling the lack of a good word to describe unnecessary, wasteful, or fraudulent projects and leapt upon it with delight.

Shout Outs:

Dee Solberg, Dae McD, Franklin Ross on Google+ follow them!

Anne Naylor and her site www.becauseofbipolar.com.au.

Stats summary of Newbie Writers for 2011:

Unique visitors: 40,875

Number of visits: 104,920

Pages: 1,315,440

Hits: 1,690,678

Bandwidth: 504.04 GB

Most downloaded podcasts:
Full Partial

/podcast/episodeoneNWP.mp3 221 1,840
/podcast/episodeelevenNWP.mp3 98 1,202

How to contact us!

Catharine: www.yourbookstartshere.com
twitter: @cbramkamp
Damien: www.newbiewriters.com
twitter: @newbiewriters
google+: Newbie Writers

Outro.

I’m finally back. It’s been a couple of hectic weeks which started out with me feeling quite unwell. I also had a lovely surprise visit from my brother who lives a good 12-13 hour drive away, and then—of course—we had Christmas and Boxing Day.

With such focus on family and friends over the past few days, today’s post is dedicated to my daughter. I’ve secured some photographic evidence to accompany this post which I’m planning to show her when she’s a bit older, along with all the other embarrassing material I’ve collected over the past couple of years. You see, currently, my house has taken on the appearance of a crime scene, full of miniature dead bodies. Not in the way you might think though; Violet likes to leave her teddy bears and dolls ‘sleeping’ in various places around the house. We seem to be forever stepping (or tripping) over her toys who must have become so tired that they simply had to nap exactly where they were—too exhausted to make the long trek back to the toybox.

To help her cuddly friends get a good, relaxing rest, Violet likes to give them each a small blanket or sheet. But she does this by spreading said sheet out flat over the doll so that in addition to covering the body as normal, the doll’s head is also entirely covered. Our living room is often reminiscent of a scene of some horrific triple homicide just after an officer has arrived to cover the unfortunate dead bodies of the victims.

I don’t know where she picked up this habit. It’s not like I tuck her into bed of a night-time with the sheet pulled all the way up and covering her face. At first it was strange—even creepy—but we’ve become accustomed to navigating our way through the various corpses littering the floor as we make our way through the house. All I can say is that it must look extremely odd to our visitors!

Of course this peculiar behaviour has sparked an idea for a story. My children have provided me with more writing prompts than I could ever have hoped for. I’m sure by the time they’ve grown up and left home I’ll have enough to keep me going until my retirement!

I hope all of the newbies out there had a wonderful Christmas with family and friends. For those who managed to pick up a bargain in the Boxing Day sales, congratulations. I’ve been trying to hide away in my house since around the 23^rd to avoid the crowds and last-minute rush, but unfortunately I must get back into the swing of things now.

It’s almost time to flick the calendar over from 2011 to 2012, and there’s so much to get done before then. Like many, I’ve promised myself that this year will be different. I’ve managed to convince myself that I’ll somehow achieve all those resolutions that have so far remained just out of reach. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

Perhaps 2012 will see some more people participating in the forum—I’m loving Mr Goblin’s quirky posts but it seems that he and Damien are the only active voices in forumland. I just love seeing the little symbol next to “The Lounge” turn green! Why not make more of them turn green by sharing some of your own writing, asking a question, or just introducing yourself.

Until next year…

————————————————————————————
Emma is a freelance editor and writer who got her start at Newbie Writers two years ago. In her previous career she was an accountant, but escaped the numbers game to envelop herself in the literary world.

I experienced a dose of déjà vu this week. Standing beneath the shower, lathering conditioner into my hair, I felt the warmth slowly disappear out of the water. It folded back the years to my childhood, when my brother would sneak into the bathroom and run the taps, forcing the same effect for kicks.

I squealed, jumped away, and furiously searched around the curtain for the culprit. But there was no one there. (Not surprising since my husband and daughter were out and I haven’t lived with my brother in years.) I fiddled with the buttons, turned the shower off, and back on. The water still ran cold. The element appeared to have broken. So, with no time to run a bath, I resorted to using a jug of water to rinse my hair in the sink.

It was with relief that I answered the door, the following morning, to a short man with a wide smile, my new shower tucked underneath his arm. I smiled back and, as he introduced himself, I couldn’t help but notice the twitch: his upper body jolted, causing his shoulders and head to flick sideways. Not wishing to stare, I averted my eyes, led him into the house. As we chatted briefly in the kitchen, he appeared calm and was very interesting, relaying anecdotes from a recent trip to New Zealand, before retreating to the bathroom to start work.

Later, I walked into the bathroom to deliver a coffee. Clumsily, I stumbled as I reached the door. It swung open and hit the bath noisily. As he shot round to face me, his forehead creased into a surprised frown, and his body jerked again. The combination of the strange expression and twitch made me physically start. His expression softened into a smile. Embarrassed, I apologised, planted his coffee on the window ledge and retreated. But as I walked into the kitchen a thought struck me – what an interesting layer those actions would add to a character.

I once read that fictional characters are partly made up of elements of people that we meet in everyday life. I guess there is some truth in this. As writers we are constantly observing the world around us – the man in the cafe with the six o’clock shadow, the perfectly manicured mum at the school gates, the child with the tuft of hair that sticks up around his crown. Whilst I hope my plumber isn’t reading this piece, I wanted to share this experience with you. We spend ages researching and building our characters, adding layers to their architecture. But sometimes they creep up on you when you least expect them.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year. And, Auntie Olive, when you come over for Christmas tea, just remember – I’ll be watching you!

Jane Isaac’s first novel, An Unfamiliar Murder, will be released by Rainstorm Press in February 2012. Jane is still very much a Newbie and with a day job, a family and a very demanding black Labrador, she squeezes her writing into every spare moment she gets. Join her on the rocky road from pen to publication!

Newbie writers podcast

Episode 13
Under the Hood
What’s in a Novel?

Show case stories on site, have writers on podcast. Submit two to Lyle.
My Education on Other Beings – Renelaine B. Pfister
Their House – Jennifer J Carr

What exactly is in the Average Novel?
Plot: What happens in your book? There are three basic plots:
Man versus Man
Man versus Machine
Man versus Nature

As you may have already suspected, Shakespeare did take all the good plots,
but don’t despair, you can take them right back again — there is no statute of
limitations on borrowing in literature. Unless you borrow directly from a rather
recent publication (see plagiarism).

Plot explains how the protagonist moves from one set of challenges to the next.
Plot also includes why the protagonist feels it is necessary to defeat the villain
and endure countless adventures or trials in order to do so.
In more modern tales the villain too will have motivation and a reason for
not wanting the hero to succeed.

What is the story?
Story is the drama; story informs what path the hero (or heroine) will take
on his or her quest. Story is how and why the heroine and her sidekick man-
age to get through their trials and trails. Story is about whom the heroine
meets on the way. The story is what happens next.

The plot holds the story together, gives background, and provides motives. The plot holds the reasons why,
story tells the reader what happens next.

Writing Prompt:

I love holiday letters that chronicle perfect families,  wonderful lives, but gloss over some of the rough parts: the latest arrest, another  job loss, the school record for detentions served.

What would happen if we sent our friends and family holiday cards that spoke the absolute truth? Would our year look different from what   what we post on Facebook?  Would our holiday missives sound  different if they weren’t mailed to elderly aunts and cousins we still want to impress?

What does that look like?

Write a holiday letter than only tells the truth.
Don’t mail it.

Word of the Week:

CASCABEL

You might judge the age and geographical origin of a dictionary by looking up the definition of this word. Modern ones, especially those with an American focus, are likely to tell you it’s the name of a medium-hot chilli (though, being American, they will spell it chili, or sometimes chile). Older ones, especially British, will more commonly say it’s the knob on the back end of a muzzle-loading cannon.

words found from: http://www.worldwidewords.org

Bring out your dead:

Signs you are a book addict.
Early signs of bibliolic problems start young, Harry Potter hasn’t helped at all. Kids sequester themselves into comfortable e hiding places and get lost in books. Children on the way to addiction spend many afternoons figuring out how to walk home and read a book without walking into street lamp poles. An early intervention program begins with picture flyers posted in the library where at-risk kids hide out from healthy activities at recess and read through the Little House series. These same children concoct various excuses to get out of PE so again, they can escape to the library and read biographies. Teachers sometimes miss the early warning signs of book addiction (Biblioaddiction) because it’s so silent and insidious, it’s difficult to pick out the kids who are studying required assignments and those who are reading for pure enjoyment the only clues are expressions of delight and a disregard for the warning bell, needing to read just one more paragraph.

Hi, I’m a bibliolic and I managed to watch three hours of TV last night.

In grown ups the addiction becomes much worse, as they have access to credit and are likely to stop by the book store right after being paid and blowing a sizable chunk of money on a hardback copy of the history of the world, part II and the full chronicles of Medieval life. They have to sneak the books in after dark, slip them onto the crowded book shelves and claim that those books were always there.

Shout Outs:

Like to send a shout out to the following people:

Anne Naylor and her site www.becauseofbipolar.com.au.

Dionne Lister from twitter and her site: http://redroom.com/member/dionne-lister

Susan May and her site: http://susanmaywordadventures.blogspot.com

Dianne Solberg and her site: http://ramble-inn.blogspot.com

Trish Nicholson and her site: http://trishnicholsonswordsinthetreehouse.com

AND finally an itunes review!

Where to find us:

Catharine: www.yourbookstartshere.com @cbramkamp

Damien: www.newbiewriters.com @newbiewriters (tweet me! and you’ll get a shout out on the show)

I’ve been self publishing and sending out work to traditional publishers and agents for my entire writing career.  And finally, one of my novels has been published by a traditional press – which has benefits and drawbacks.

The best thing that can happen to my book,  In Good Faith, is that it becomes an overnight success, because it took 11 years to write it.

Since I’m a fan of independent publishing, I published In Good Faith two years ago.  Then Write Life Press picked it up.  I did not get an advance, but I did get editing and the cover design and of course, the book.  I wrote two books in the Real Estate Diva Mystery series before In Good Faith and one after it, and it was this, the third one in the series that was finally published up by a traditional press.

In Good Faith began in 2000. I worked as the marketing department for United Way and feeling burned out.  So I wrote a long short story chronicling the antics of the world’s worst non-profit.   What did I hate most about the non-profit world?  I put that in the story. What did I hate about volunteers?  I put that in the story. I hated being treated like the help.   I put that in the story too.  And I finished up with the worst thing (or two) that can happen to a non-profit.

Sure, I felt better, but where to put this story (it was at least more sophisticated than a rant).  It would be years later, after I left the non-profit world and became embroiled in the real estate industry (where the very worst thing that can happen, happens daily) that a new character emerged and the Real Estate Diva Mysteries were created.   The bad non-profit story merged into a murder plot for the third book and now I had a full story.

If you or a friend ever worked with a non-profit or volunteered with a non profit; you’ll recognize much of that world in the novel.

As for me, I hope no one calls me and claims I wrote about them and their organization.  Because I made it all up.  I’m pretty sure I made it all up. . .

Catharine Bramkamp

In Good Faith -  A Real Estate Diva Mystery

As work on my second novel progresses, I realise that word counts intimidate me. When I hear other writers aiming for 2 or 3,000 words a day on their book, every day, I want to climb back into bed and eat copious bars of chocolate. I admire their tenacity, their discipline, their focus.

Like of many of you, my lifestyle allows precious little spare time. As you all know, I have a day job, a family and a very naughty Labrador – all barriers (albeit welcome barriers – most of the time!) that keep me from my keyboard.

These days, I approach my novel in scenes, writing one at a time. I like to get into the heads of my characters. They don’t share my personality, so I need to feel theirs. I guess you might call me a ponderer. I walk across the fields with Bollo, my dog, and let the fresh air swim around me whilst mulling it over in my head.  I try to imagine the scene, picture it in my mind – how does it look, smell; what noises can I hear in the background? Then survey my characters, what is happening to them, how will they react?

Often I come back and write something. Sometimes, there isn’t time. If I’ve got work or family stuff to attend to, I just jot down a few notes. But I genuinely think that if I can’t feel my story, then my readers won’t either. And for me, this all takes time: sometimes hours, days, weeks even for a complex scene.

If you’re writing for something special, or doing a competition like Nano, then great – it’s a challenge. If it’s your job and you have a deadline, you have no choice. But, for me, it’s a hobby and a regular writing routine isn’t measured by a daily word limit. I count all the research, thinking and ruminating time too.

We all know that what works for one, doesn’t for another. As Newbies, we have to find the right habit to suit our own lifestyles. Writing should be an exciting, thrilling and fun experience. Like a great movie, or a good book. So, go find what suits you – write and enjoy.

Jane Isaac’s first novel, An Unfamiliar Murder, will be released by Rainstorm Press in February 2012. Jane is still very much a Newbie and with a day job, a family and a very demanding black Labrador, she squeezes her writing into every spare moment she gets. Join her on the rocky road from pen to publication!

Newbie writers podcast-Episode 12 Romance

Introduce our guest, Sharon Hamilton author of Heavenly Love that has five star reviews – available on Amazon

Sharon, you once said  you liked romance because the girl always wins.  Can you tell us more about that feature of Romances?

I always thought that Romance, like any genre is something you must live and breath and love before trying to write it, do you agree?

Who are authors to watch and who are authors for a newbie romance writer to read?

What are some of the romance trends?

What are some of the best ways to get your romance seen?

Do Romance writers need agents or are there publishers who will take a look at their work?

Tell us about your books

What is your process for writing?

What do you recommend for newbie romance writers – words of wisdom!

Writing Prompt:

This was inspired by Sharon -  imagine a vampire working as an ER doctor.  Create someone who is not Edward from Twilight.

Word of the day:

FOOFARAW

Frills and flashy finery; a fuss about nothing.

Foofaraw is common enough in North America, though it has never become widely known elsewhere. The earliest senses were of something vain, fussy, tawdry or gaudy — baubles, bangles or beads. In time, the sense shifted to mean frivolous accoutrements or trappings,

Bring out your dead:

Since raising the heart rate for a sustained period of time, and no, we are not going to repeat that tedious formula that involves height , age and resting heart rate multiplied by the circumference of the earth and squared by the relative gravity of the planet. I just know the heart is suppose to beat at a healthy, life sustaining clip. Another word is Adrenaline rush.
For a parent at home, this is neither difficult to achieve, or sustain.
A dear friend once reported on her very successful exercise program that involved a lifecycle, a three year old and a baby. One afternoon she was able to maintain and sustain heart rate of 140 for over two hours. And she shares here how she was able to manage it.
Put children in front of Disney movie, hand them crackers.
Ride bike for five minutes
During the sixth minute strain to hear what’s going on in the family room as there are no sounds. Not even requests for more crackers.
Disembark the bike and check on the children.
Discover that the three year old, has decided to pull out just the multi-colored rainbow charms in the Luck y Charm cereal. He has achieved this by dumping the contents of the cereal box onto the middle of the living room floor.
The dog is very happy.
The mother’s ideal aerobic heart rate was completely achieved and sustained.
An additional 2,908 calories were expended during the discussion with the three year old as to why we eat all the cereal not just the charms and we don’t picked them out for later and piled them onto the just re-covered surface of Beidermeir chair. Muscle toning was achieved through violent vacuuming action all over the living room and all over the three year old. More muscle toning was achieved by lifting and carrying at arm’s length, the wiggling charmed baby up the stairs to the bathroom without smearing blue diamonds, green clovers, red moons up the stair well.
So she recommends the stationery bicycle to anyone who wants a full work out at home.

Where to find us:

Sharon: http://www.sharonhamiltonauthor.com
Damien: http://www.newbiewriters.com @newbiewriters
Catharine: http://www.yourbookstartshere.com @cbramkamp

Episode 11- Slang. USA vs Australia.

This episode we will bring to you something a little different. Slang is everywhere these days. As much as writers will try to avoid using it, they cannot hide from it. So this show, we will explore some slang english and what better way to do it than have American slang versus Australian? Afterall, us Aussies are notorious for it.

Why we use slang: from website:

http://www.uncp.edu/home/canada/work/allam/1914-/language/slang.htm#History%20of%20Slang

Catharines Slang contribution:
Beat -  Stereo system in a car.
Get your Issue -  Death Sentence
Hood – neighborhood
Ratchet -  Girl from the Ghetto
Tight – flash or cool
What’s up with it? -  What’s up, what’s good?
Shawty – girlfriend
Get it in -  Sex, hours of work
Ya Feel me?  Do you understand?
Jump off – mistress
Swag – personal Style, confidence
Slap -  Cool song or loud music
Hater -  Slander, heinous deed against you,  contempt
It’s a wrap -  it’s over
Kiss the baby -  it’s over
Go hard or go home -  make the effort
Paper -  Money
Bopper – whore
Pop off -  Drama, fight is brewing
Fire on you – punch you

Have you ever attended a Renaissance Faire?  Consider the participants, do they really belong in another time?  Do you?

Bring out your dead. Well kind of. Not an old piece. A piece read out from my neighbour.

Word of the week:

Bodgy: meaning of inferior quality

Our Competition details:

www.newbiewriters.com/competition/

Outro

Where you can find us:

Damien: www.newbiewriters.com twitter: @newbiewriters google+: Newbie Writers

Catharine: www.yourbookstartshere.com twitter: @cbramkamp

Pass this on! You only have a week or so to get your short story into us for our competition. Below is the link to the comp:

http://www.newbiewriters.com/2011/11/06/competition

Damien