It’s our anniversary. We’ve been married for 29 years.
That’s not an exciting lead in for a blog of course. But it’s cool for me. 29 years. I thought about it, and wondered what advice I’d pass along to my granddaughter Kamryn should she want to stay married forever.
There seems to be so much emphasis on the wedding, the expensive dress, the ceremony, the flowers “your day”. Yet little attention is paid to the groom. That would be the person on your right, the one you promised to love, honor and cherish all the days of your life. Yeah, that guy.
Hardly fits into the current wedding picture at all.
I beg you to reconsider the ceremony and consider the outcome.
The result of that wedding ceremony is the marriage. And while a lovely wedding is nice, and a great way to pay back social debt, it’s the marriage that is important. As a general rule, the marriage should last longer than the reception.
Here’s why you should stay married:
You’ll end up with more money.
You’ll have less stress in your life.
You’ll get to keep your house, and build up your equity in both financial terms and in life terms.
You won’t have to make yourself and start dating again at an awkward age.
You will grow old with someone who shares your past as well as your future.
You get to sleep with your boyfriend every night. I still marvel at that.
You get to live the love songs.
You get to be happy. If you are not happy, then why are you with that person in the first place? Your spouse should delight you, not because he showed up clutching flowers and a pair of sapphire earrings, but because he showed up, again. It’s like a marvelous surprise, here you are! How delightful to see you again!
When you find your soul mate; marry him. Last month, Andrew (my husband for those just joining the conversation), was asked how we met. And with that question he realized that we didn’t really meet, we recognized each other. We believe that this life is our opportunity to finally live together and share a whole lifetime un- assaulted by war, drama and separation. We are living a wish and desire and maybe even a promise made many life times ago. We honor that hope from the past and celebrate every day together and treat it as a gift. Your relationship may not be as dramatic, but if you do treat your love as special and even fragile, it will serve you over the years.
Okay, that was deep. I’ll write about more practical considerations next.