Love the Future with your Spouse
Probably the first thing that will help you stay married is to think of the future and a continued interesting adventure. I need, at the very least, another 30 years with my husband because there are so many more interesting things to do. We spend a considerable number of hours discussing the various scenarios of our future, and yes, what you will do when you win the lottery counts. The more life we’ve experienced, the more we appreciate what we have, the more excited we are about the future.
Marry a Man who can keep a job
When I met your grandfather, he was juggling two jobs while finishing up a double major at UCSB. He lived in San Rafael dorm because it was practical and inexpensive. He drove the borrowed family car. And he was marvelous. Marry someone willing to work and do what it takes. I’ve supported him as he launched enormous career risks, and he supported me so I could be home with the children for three years. We’ve been low on funds, but we’ve never been homeless. because we were always willing to take a job.
I know this will sound terribly ironic, or even self-serving, but the happy couples I know today all began their lives together with very little to nothing. And those years are remembered with great fondness and nostalgia. More telling is that even though we are comfortable today, we would give anything and everything up for:
A. The adventure of it.
B. As long as we are together.
Ask yourself. If there was nothing else, if it was just you and your spouse and a toothbrush between you, would it still be magic? Or would you be overwhelmingly annoyed?