Life on Hold

By CBramkamp creative writing, Today it's Personal Comments Off on Life on Hold

No one likes to  be on hold. I don’t like being kept hold on the phone, I dislike to be grounded while the air crew “checks something”.   I am really not fond of circling around the airport, holding for a landing clearance.  I worry about running out of fuel.  I avoid waiting in line.

And I’m sure  you feel the same.

So what if you are in a holding pattern for your creative work?  What if you find that you have some time, so you dutifully sit at your desk, lift your fingers over the key board and – you get put on hold. there is nothing in your head except a   scratchy rendition of  the Girl From Ipanema.

This is what is happening to me right now.

I’m in a holding flight pattern.  I have not landed.  I ran out of peanuts along about May 1st. and the flight attendant cut off my drinks.

I am waiting to land and I don’t even know the name of the airport.

Why am I holding?  My flight began 16 months ago, it was called the presidency of a  very lively and overwhelmingly   consuming service club.   I’ve been at it too long and I really, really want to land and see where I am.

Will I disembark at the new house we just purchased?  Will I get off at a new job?  Will I start my own business?  or will I step off this flight and find I’ve packed for a vacation.

I’ve turned off my electronic devises and now have had nothing to do except to write this blog.  I can’t really begin doing something (like sneaking off to the rest room),   because we may land anytime.  You’ve been on that flight.

So I  read all the magazines stuffed in the seat back.  I memorize  the emergency instructions and   think how unlikely a water landing would be as we are hovering over Denver.   I borrow other people’s books,  I read about fashion, the current media stars.  I contemplate a life of near misses.

I know the plane will eventually land, the destination achieved.  But when I am IN it, the space, the hold, feels eternal.   This is what it is like to wait out a hold in your creative life.  It seems endless, even though you know it will end.

It doesn’t feel like it at the time.

My only feeble answer is to just wait it out.  Read a magazine.  Snag some peanuts.

We will land soon.

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