Episode 41- Just Nod If You Can Hear Me.

By Damien Newbie Writers Podcast Comments Off on Episode 41- Just Nod If You Can Hear Me.

The Newbie Writers Podcast – Episode 41

What If No one is Listening?


Clapping with one hand. Your invisible audience.

Why write, why pod cast? Why do anything?

Speaking of which, I need to mention my book In Good Faith because no one else is!


I checked my Google analytics on my web site.  Of course there wasn’t much information to parse from four visitors.  So I abandoned the depressing news and turned back to filling the blog and web site no one visits.

Writing for my blog is  like keeping my house clean for guests.  I may not entertain anyone this week,  but the effort makes the house more pleasant for me.  And should someone drop by, I can invite them in without worrying that the laundry is covering the couch, last night dishes are still on the dinning table and dust balls the size of tumble weeds are rolling down the hall.

What writers are often told is:  Set up a blog!  That’s the answer!  It will help your analytics!  Google will find you!  Well . . .

The act of the web site and blog, the doing of it and the discipline of it, helps keep me on my toes and keeps me writing.  For that, the blog serves its purpose.  And yes, if you start up a blog and then don’t keep it up, those time stamps will get you.  So like vacuuming, you need to keep up the damn thing even if  no one visits, because like your mother said, keep the house clean, you just never know.

If I really wanted more hits, I’d post videos of kittens.


Writing Prompt:

I have a collection of magnets adhered to my refrigerator.

What is the weirdest thing attached to your refrigerator, examine it and write a story or an essay or a poem about it.

Bring Out Your Dead:

Bored of the Rings.

Original Lord of the Rings poem:

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.


Bored of the Rings version:

“This Ring, no other, is made by the elves,

Who’d pawn their own mother to grab it themselves.

Ruler of creeper, mortal and scallop,

This is a sleeper that packs quite a wallop.

The Power almighty rests in this Lone Ring.

The Power, alrighty, for doing your Own Thing.

If broken or busted, it cannot be remade.

If found, send to Sorhed (the postage is prepaid)”


Word of the Week


Put your hands together, cupped. Now consider the bowl shape you have created. How much would it hold? If you say a double handful, you will be right, but how much more interesting it would be to call it a gowpen instead.

Not that you are likely to hear the word much, nor should you expect many people to understand you. Its active use is now restricted to parts of Scotland — you might for example come across it in the old Scots’ proverb: “A hanfu’ o’ trade is worth a gowpen o’ gold” (even a little knowledge of a trade is worth a great deal of money).

Originally the word came from Old Norse and I’m told it still exists in some modern Scandinavian dialects. When it first came into Britain, probably with Viking settlers before the Norman Conquest, it seems to have referred to a single cupped hand, the idea of a double handful being indicated by gowpens. Some writers continued to distinguish between one and two cupped hands in this way almost down to modern times, though the word now seems to be used only in the singular to refer to both hands.

With anything Scots, the instinct is to fly to Sir Walter Scott, and he does not disappoint. This is from The Black Dwarf: “A bag was suspended in the mill for David Ritchie’s benefit; and those who were carrying home a melder of meal, seldom failed to add a gowpen to the alms-bag of the deformed cripple”.

If you’d like to be even more obscure, you might try yepsen, a related form that is recorded in various English dialects — it never seems to have been spelled the same way twice: ipson, espin, yaspin, and yepsintle, among others





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