The Newbie Writers’ Podcast
Special guest: Dionne Lister
I almost feel like I’m spamming everyone; my cover was ready so I did the cover reveal, and I was going to wait to upload to Amazon, but I couldn’t! So now, the next book in The Circle of Talia series is out there. You can find it on Amazon or Smashwords and soon iTunes, Kobo and Barnes & Noble. The sequel to Shadows of the Realm continues the story of realmists, Bronwyn and Blayke and their creaturas, Sinjenasta and Fang. It’s fast-paced, scary and has awesome dragons (although those who have read Shadows of the Realm would know that).
I hope a lot of readers are waiting for this book and will now run out and buy it—I promise you won’t be disappointed. Here is an excerpt where we join the evil gormons in the Third Realm, a place they hate. They look forward to the day when they swarm Talia and begin their eating frenzy:
“Klazich absently picked at his teeth with a sharpened ulna—courtesy of his last meal. He looked across the table at his brother. Squinting and blinking did nothing to improve the hazy view. The Third Realm wavered and shaded reality like a suffocating nightmare—nothing appeared clear. Feldich’s outline was revealed to him, and he could almost look into his eyes. He curled his clawed hand into a fist, resisting the urge to slam the table.
Feldich sipped from the glass of bevanda, his favorite mix of blood and acidic lake water, and burped. Many gormons had died trying to adjust to the acidic water when they were first banished to this dim, nowhere realm. “Ha, Brother. I might have just hit upon the only thing I’ll miss from this stinking realm. I suppose we might be able to acidize Talia’s water once we’re there. What do you think?”
“Whatever you want.” His raspy voice suited the gloom. “Right now, I couldn’t care less. If we don’t get out of here by the full moon, we’ll never get out. I don’t fancy dying on this shitty, gods-forsaken excuse for a realm.” Klazich placed the bone in his mouth and crunched down, snapping it in half.
“How long have we got?”
“The next-best window through the corridor is Talia’s next full moon. Embrax calculated that’s in sixteen First Realm days. He’ll watch the moon’s symbol as it grows brighter.”
“Only one corridor will be open?”
“Yes. I know it’s not ideal. We’ll all end up where High Priest Kerchex is. It will take longer to spread out and crush those usurping parasites. But we will do it. I won’t rest until every filthy human and dragon is dead.” Placing the rest of the bone in his mouth, he chewed, grinding the fragments into splinters. He hated the humans. He hated the dragons. Talia had once belonged to the gormons, and it would again.”
Grab A Time of Darkness and find out what happens next.
Anne Naylor (www.becauseofbipolar.com.au) and I were conversing via email and I asked her if I could mention the email below:
I would love you to bring up some issues on your show. As an aspiring writer one has no idea about anything. Going with a traditional publisher, who knew you didn’t get to choose the title of your book? Or the cover design? Or the font or the paper for the book? Or the price? I had no idea. Sure, some of these things are ‘discussed’ with you but you don’t have the final say. However, having said that, my publisher did a great job. If I ‘d had my way, the end result wouldn’t have been as good as the one I have now. He made really good choices, so I can’t whinge too much. And he is the one taking the risks. But there have been many, many times where I have been left with a ‘sour taste in my mouth’. It is a very stressful process. It is weird about the pricing too. Mine is $33 and I was not consulted.
My first launch is in 2 weeks. The publisher has organised it and I have a very funny feeling that no one (apart from my 5 relatives) will come. There’s another topic for you. Book launches. He is putting it on in a Brisbane mental hospital, so I wonder who will come??. Mmmm, should be a barrel of laughs. At least I’ve got Richard (Fidler) to go and see while I am there so that will make it worthwhile.
I am organising the Sydney launch in a pub (much more appropriate venue) and I have already got over ninety RSVPs. That one will be fun.
And thanks. Having a physical book is amazing. If I can do it, you can too.
Word of the Week:
To have the literal collywobbles is to experience an upset stomach, a bellyache or the gripes. Its risible form may be the reason why it’s most often used for children’s minor ailments rather than for the indispositions of adults. In books and newspapers it’s almost always employed figuratively to refer to that fluttering in the stomach caused by nervousness or apprehension.
But it’s that terrible, tooth-furring nervousness of the BBC; the corporation gets the collywobbles whenever a programme is essentially serious.
The Spectator, 6 Nov. 2010.
The first known use in print is from 1823, in an edition of Francis Grose’s Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue that Pierce Egan revised and updated.
It may have been created from colic plus wobble, which implies that some humour was attached to it from its beginnings. This seems inappropriate for a term that was linked at the time to a genuinely serious intestinal upset. Another theory says it was the result of folk etymology, in which uneducated people converted the medical term for cholera, cholera morbus, into something that seemed to make more sense. As so often, nobody knows for sure.
There remains one small puzzle, however. I found this while looking for examples:
I entreat you by no means to think of undertaking a review when I publish any thing; if you print any criticisms upon it, I will colly-wobble your arguments into nothing.
In a letter by Barré Charles Roberts to his mother from Christ Church, Oxford, dated 1 May 1807, reprinted in Letters and Miscellaneous Papers by Barré Charles Roberts, 1814. Roberts died in 1810, only two years after graduating, but had already become a sufficiently notable antiquary and numismatist that after his death his coin collection was bought by the British Museum for a substantial sum.
What did he mean, if other than a teasing nonsensicality? All we can say for certain about Mr Roberts’s usage is that it confirms the term was known earlier than Pierce Egan’s recording of it in 1823, which is hardly surprising.