It’s been brought to my attention that something I discussed in my last post requires clarification.

 “Hubby went away for a weekend with the guys and lost hundreds of dollars’ worth of fishing gear (and copped a good whack with a kayak paddle).”

No, I did not whack him with the paddle… the hunter became the hunted and it was the fish that taught him a lesson he won’t forget in a hurry.

We’ve had a couple of boats over the course of our marriage, but there’s always something not-quite-perfect about each one so Daniel gets fed up after a while and tries something new. His latest water-related purchase was a kayak.

Now, you might be thinking that Daniel decided on kayaking because it can be a lovely family activity; gently paddling down a smooth river, admiring the scenery and enjoying the outdoors. You’d be wrong.

Daniel decided that a kayak would be the perfect vessel from which to catch fish—and we’re not talking small fish here. His target, the barramundi, is often over 1 metre long and is a prized fighting fish in Australia. Trying to catch ol’ Baz from an itty bitty piece of plastic floating on the tropical, crocodile-infested waters of northern Queensland sounds like a great idea, right?

Daniel spent months perfecting the fitout of his ‘yak’. He built an icebox and installed fishing rod holders, a GPS, a sounder, and who knows what else. Finally, after months and months of him tinkering away at it, the kayak was finally ready for its maiden barramundi hunt.

After taking some time off work and making all the arrangements with his mates, they set off for an extended weekend of camping and fishing.

On their first day, one of the guys carelessly knocked his fishing rod out of its holder with his paddle. In seconds, the expensive rod, reel, and line sank down to its new watery home. Fortunately Aaron had brought a spare so the fishing continued.

The following day, Daniel hooked a huuuuuuge barra. According to his GPS it was towing him around at over 7 km/hour. I didn’t witness this, but in my mind I can see the orange kayak zooming around as if it were waterskiing behind an invisible boat. Eventually, the barra grew bored with this game and as quickly as it took the lure, spit it out and continued on its merry way.

Excited by the close call, Daniel found what looked to be the perfect fishing spot and cast his line. Accustomed to his usual fishing routine which consists of casting for hours, sitting around bored for hours, and not catching much (sorry Dan, but it’s true!), Daniel placed his rod in the holder for a moment as he reached down to adjust his oar (or something equally mundane). Needless to say, he was not quite ready for another hungry barra to attack the split-second that he let go of the fishing rod.

What could have simply been a case of Daniel’s fishing rod joining Aaron’s underwater turned into a much more costly and dangerous exercise. You see, after Daniel cast the line and was shifting around to put the rod in its holder, the fishing line looped over the tip of the rod. This is not a rare or unusual event, to resolve it a fisherman would normally twist or wiggle the rod slightly until the line comes free (or reach up and manually unloop the line.)

Daniel saw the line get caught. He knew he should fix it. He decided to do something else first.

Mr Barramundi did not want to wait for Daniel, so he took the lure when he was ready. Daniel was not.

Instead of the drag on the reel letting some line out, or the rod coming free of the rod holder à la Aaron’s experience, the line wrapped tight around the rod and flipped the entire kayak over!

Daniel says that one minute he was just sitting there minding his own business, the next he’s in the drink next to his upturned kayak, dazed and bruised from the oar which ‘broke his fall’ on both his head and his ribs as he was thrown into the water.

Eventually, Daniel managed to right the kayak and climb back on; all of the gear that he’d had with him gone. The fishing rod was taken so violently that the rod holder itself was physically ripped from the kayak, leaving a gaping hole which made Daniel’s attempts at flotation and paddling back to shore even more fun!

I wonder whether he’ll return to do battle on the kayak again or move on to another pastime. And I wonder how much other fishing equipment can be found below the waterline. I can just imagine those cheeky barramundi meeting up socially to boast about the humans they hooked that day and all the great fishing gear that they ‘caught’.

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Emma is a freelance editor and writer who got her start at Newbie Writers two years ago. In her previous career she was an accountant, but escaped the numbers game to envelop herself in the literary world.

Emma’s Exceptional Editing & Proofreading
info@exceptionalediting.com.au
www.exceptionalediting.com.au
Follow me on Twitter: @EEEandP

Hello everyone. What a busy month it’s been. So much has happened since Christmas: my husband’s birthday, our anniversary, Lockie started school, and a new approach to discipline turned our little devil, Violet, into an only slightly unpleasant terrible-two-er.

But some crappy stuff happened too. Hubby went away for a weekend with the guys and lost hundreds of dollars’ worth of fishing gear (and copped a good whack with a kayak paddle). He’s also facing a dilemma regarding his work situation with a previous employer who is keen to entice him back to a bigger and better role.

This afternoon topped it all off. I had a call from Peyton’s day care centre saying that she has a bit of a fever and was basically sick and miserable. While I was talking to Miss Stacey, I grabbed my keys and my bag and headed outside.

I should have continued directly to my car but my eyes fell upon Buster’s food bowl. While I was mentally running through all the things I still needed to do this afternoon, I decided that now would be the easiest time to feed Buster since in the afternoon rush I would likely forget. As my phone call with Miss Stacey ended, I slipped my phone into the pocket on the front of my handbag and leaned down to scoop some dog biscuits out of their waterproof container. As I struggled with the handle, my handbag shifted slightly on my shoulder. Gravity did the rest.

My phone fell with a nice little ‘plop’ straight into Buster’s water bowl.

Quick as a flash I grabbed it and tried to dry the water (and disgusting dog saliva!) off, but it was too late. My precious lifeline to the outside world was completely drenched.

Unable to believe my luck, I trudged over to the car to pick up Peyton, but first pulled my phone apart in some foolishly optimistic hope that by letting it dry out everything would be fine. After collecting my poor little bubby, I doubled back to pick up Lachlan from school. All the while my phone was sitting in pieces on the front passenger seat.

Since my silly mistake I’ve been torn between reassembling my phone to see if it works and leaving it in pieces for a bit longer. After all, as long as I don’t put it together I don’t know whether it’s working or not, and therefore don’t have to be upset.

After settling Peyton for a nap and distracting Lockie with some toys I decided now would be as good a time as any to vent some of the frustration by sharing what had happened. I logged onto Facebook and divulged my terrible news. Immediately my mother wrote back asking, “Does it still work?”

Silly me. I thought I’d had enough little accidents for one day. Little did I know that the moment that I reached for my mouse to type a reply explaining my Schrödinger’s Cat-like theory about the condition of my phone, I would clumsily knock over the full glass of Coke.

In conclusion ladies and gentlemen, I have one sick baby, one probably-broken mobile phone, an entire desk’s worth of paperwork stained with soft drink and thrown in the bin, plus sticky spots all over the kitchen and lounge room floor from my frantic attempts to wipe up the mess.

Phew. At least some of the frustration has lifted by the simple act of writing it all down. But now that I’ve told you all how much of a klutz I am, I better get back to the task of tidying up.

At least the Coke didn’t spill onto my computer….

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Emma is a freelance editor and writer who got her start at Newbie Writers two years ago. In her previous career she was an accountant, but escaped the numbers game to envelop herself in the literary world.

Well, two weeks into being a published author. This was my dream, my ambition for so long. So, what happens next?

The last week has been a surreal experience. I have been overwhelmed by the lovely feedback on Twitter and Facebook, and great reviews on Amazon – a truly thrilling, yet humbling experience. I realise that this will not continue indefinitely, so I am trying to soak it all up while it lasts.

Any dreams of sitting with my feet up, watching my books fly off the shelves, responding to the odd interview, waned long ago. Oh, the book is selling and reviews are great, but whether you’re with a large or small house publishing house, or publishing yourself, you are expected to get out there and promote, promote, promote. This is particularly important for a Newbie, as you don’t have a string of bestsellers or a readership base already established, eagerly awaiting your release.

This week I have been preparing for my blog tour. (Just in case you are not familiar – I wasn’t until a month or two ago – a blog tour is a series of interviews, postings and book spotlights that will appear on various blogs across the internet over the next couple of months.) After a week of filling in interviews and penning posts I’m about a quarter done with that.

I’m eagerly awaiting the arrival of the paperbacks in the UK. It does feel strange that they are available to buy in the US and not in my home country – but I guess they’ll be here soon enough. In anticipation, I’ve spoken to my local bookstores to see if they will stock my book and to pre-arrange some signings. As a Newbie, published by a small US house, I admit feeling quite apprehensive about this. But they could not have been more helpful, welcoming and accommodating.

My next job is to find a book launch venue. I anticipated a small event, maybe in a book store or library, with family and friends, and perhaps a book reading. My husband has other ideas. By the time he has finished with me I’ll have a full blown party with live band and all. I should be flattered – he’s incredibly supportive and so proud. When we finally find a venue, I’ll share it with you over the weeks to come.

The delicious news is that I’m getting back into writing book two (when I can squeeze in the time!). Finding a balance between writing the fiction I love and promoting my first baby is proving quite a challenge, but I can think of worst dilemmas…

Twitter:                @JaneIsaacAuthor

Face Book:          Jane Isaac Author

Website:           www.janeisaac.co.uk 

Jane Isaac’s first novel, An Unfamiliar Murder, is out on Amazon.com, Amazon.uk and Kindle worldwide now. Jane is still very much a Newbie and with a day job, a family and a very demanding black Labrador, she squeezes her writing into every spare moment she gets.

For the first time this week, I found the time to sit down and listen to the latest podcast. I have to say, I’m deeply troubled.

It was with disbelief that I listened to Damien, Anne and Dionne as they unanimously agreed that it’s perfectly acceptable to abandon a book if it’s boring or uninteresting. I’ll concede that they did describe this inexplicable activity as occurring only if, after a number of pages or chapters, they’re not drawn to the story, but I’m no less stunned. In fact, I’m breaking out into a cold sweat just thinking about it.

Distressed, I raised my concerns with a friend but to my dismay she agreed wholeheartedly with Damien, Anne and Dionne. It was then that I realised I’ve yet another trait to add to my ever-growing list of quirks and eccentricities.

Throughout my entire life I’ve never—and I literally mean never—been able to start reading a book without finishing it. Obviously, I’ve come across atrocious books that are so poorly worded you’re constantly re-reading to try to understand what the author is saying. There are dull books, ridiculously far-fetched books, and then there are those that make you wish you could grab the author by the shoulders and yell, “What were you thinking?!”

And yet, I will read each and every single word.

I certainly don’t seek out a miserable reading experience. I want to be enthralled. As Jane mentioned, I want to find writing so good I forget I’m reading. However, if I’m unfortunate enough to select a piece of less-than-acceptable literature, I feel some sort of obligation to see it through.

As a result of this compulsion, I’ve read entire works that I detest, simply because I began. And although the story may not thrill me, the pleasure I derive from the actual act of reading itself has always been enough to counteract everything I’ve come across to date.

Damien, your invitation to blog with Newbie Writers! is proving itself to be a cathartic experience. Each week I’m discovering more and more weird unique things about myself. I wonder if (Ok, secretly I hope) someone, somewhere, is just as strange as me. Anyone?

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Emma is a freelance editor and writer who got her start at Newbie Writers two years ago. In her previous career she was an accountant, but escaped the numbers game to envelop herself in the literary world.

This week my fledgling flew the nest. Like any mother, I wanted to wrap my arms around her, tell her she wasn’t ready, that she needed to grow more, to develop. But I knew it wasn’t true. She was ready. It was just a matter of letting go.

After a week of burning the candle, proof reading, I emailed my script for the last time. The next time I see her she’ll have a cover on her, all grown up and ready to make her way into the world. Whilst it is a scary prospect, I know it’s inevitable. I can’t keep her with me forever.

Throughout this process, I have been asked the same question several times: Why choose the traditional route over self publishing? Hmmm. When I embarked on this adventure, I had no idea what publishing entailed. I may not receive all the royalties for my book, but for me, at this point in my writing journey, I received something much more valuable: a training.

 Together we have navigated the realms of editing, distribution, cover art, formatting. I have been nurtured into the book world, grown into a seedling, and for that I am very grateful. My publisher has had to put up with ridiculous questions in the middle of the night (luckily he’s eight hours behind me!), manouvoured the constraints of time zones for Skype meetings, and provided valuable advice on marketing.

Aside from that, Rainstorm authors have their own Face book club, where we can chat, debate, exchange ideas and support one another. Many of us are Newbies, navigating this journey together for the first time, and their support feels like a baby’s comfort blanket.

The debate over which way to jump will, no doubt, continue. But I am happy with my choice. Can’t wait to watch my baby grow and flourish in the world.

 Add Note: You can read an excerpt from An Unfamiliar Murder on my new website at www.janeisaac.co.uk  It would be great to see some of you there!

  Jane Isaac’s first novel, An Unfamiliar Murder, will be released by Rainstorm Press in February 2012. Jane is still very much a Newbie and with a day job, a family and a very demanding black Labrador, she squeezes her writing into every spare moment she gets. Join her on the rocky road from pen to publication! 

The Spidinator

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Emma is a freelance editor and writer who got her start at Newbie Writers two years ago. In her previous career she was an accountant, but escaped the numbers game to envelop herself in the literary world.

I’m finally back. It’s been a couple of hectic weeks which started out with me feeling quite unwell. I also had a lovely surprise visit from my brother who lives a good 12-13 hour drive away, and then—of course—we had Christmas and Boxing Day.

With such focus on family and friends over the past few days, today’s post is dedicated to my daughter. I’ve secured some photographic evidence to accompany this post which I’m planning to show her when she’s a bit older, along with all the other embarrassing material I’ve collected over the past couple of years. You see, currently, my house has taken on the appearance of a crime scene, full of miniature dead bodies. Not in the way you might think though; Violet likes to leave her teddy bears and dolls ‘sleeping’ in various places around the house. We seem to be forever stepping (or tripping) over her toys who must have become so tired that they simply had to nap exactly where they were—too exhausted to make the long trek back to the toybox.

To help her cuddly friends get a good, relaxing rest, Violet likes to give them each a small blanket or sheet. But she does this by spreading said sheet out flat over the doll so that in addition to covering the body as normal, the doll’s head is also entirely covered. Our living room is often reminiscent of a scene of some horrific triple homicide just after an officer has arrived to cover the unfortunate dead bodies of the victims.

I don’t know where she picked up this habit. It’s not like I tuck her into bed of a night-time with the sheet pulled all the way up and covering her face. At first it was strange—even creepy—but we’ve become accustomed to navigating our way through the various corpses littering the floor as we make our way through the house. All I can say is that it must look extremely odd to our visitors!

Of course this peculiar behaviour has sparked an idea for a story. My children have provided me with more writing prompts than I could ever have hoped for. I’m sure by the time they’ve grown up and left home I’ll have enough to keep me going until my retirement!

I hope all of the newbies out there had a wonderful Christmas with family and friends. For those who managed to pick up a bargain in the Boxing Day sales, congratulations. I’ve been trying to hide away in my house since around the 23^rd to avoid the crowds and last-minute rush, but unfortunately I must get back into the swing of things now.

It’s almost time to flick the calendar over from 2011 to 2012, and there’s so much to get done before then. Like many, I’ve promised myself that this year will be different. I’ve managed to convince myself that I’ll somehow achieve all those resolutions that have so far remained just out of reach. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

Perhaps 2012 will see some more people participating in the forum—I’m loving Mr Goblin’s quirky posts but it seems that he and Damien are the only active voices in forumland. I just love seeing the little symbol next to “The Lounge” turn green! Why not make more of them turn green by sharing some of your own writing, asking a question, or just introducing yourself.

Until next year…

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Emma is a freelance editor and writer who got her start at Newbie Writers two years ago. In her previous career she was an accountant, but escaped the numbers game to envelop herself in the literary world.

I know Halloween has been and gone this year, but I popped over to visit my mum yesterday and somehow the conversation turned to horror movies and books. We laughed at one of my many peculiarities, this one in relation to the horror and supernatural genres.

We discussed how my mother prefers the supernatural theme and dislikes ‘real’, human, murderous, evil killers, yet I find the more gruesome, gory, torturous deaths encountered in the book or film, the better. Whatever your opinion of the plot in the Saw film franchise, I can’t get enough of the ingenious methods that ‘Jigsaw’ comes up with to extinguish those he deems undeserving of life.

Fictional, sadistic, serial killers who are crueller than the human mind can contemplate; can’t put the book down!

Average, ordinary people killed and then raised from the dead to become brainless, flesh-eating creatures (zombies or otherwise); love it!

Demons, monsters, vampires, aliens; bring ‘em on.

But, sneak in a ghostly presence—even the kind, innocent, Casper-like type—and my heart races. I’m constantly spinning around to catch a glimpse of what might be behind me. I have to tuck my feet and legs up onto the lounge, too afraid to let them hang down within easy reach of the evil presence lurking below. As a child I didn’t have monsters in my cupboards, I had ghosts in my room – and it didn’t matter whether the lights were on or off. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why I’m so troubled by just this one particular aspect of the supernatural realm.

I’ve been addicted to reading for as long as I can remember. My mum tells me that she didn’t have to teach me to read – I demanded tuition from her at an early age. Later, in my ‘tween’ and teenage years, scary stories were my favourite. Admittedly, children’s horror is pretty mild, but I always enjoyed scaring myself silly.

After our conversation yesterday, I scolded myself. I’m an adult now, ‘ghost stories’ shouldn’t have this effect on me. But then this morning I was making a sandwich for myself and, completely out of nowhere, my glass cake stand (coincidentally a gift from my mother) toppled over and spun around on the benchtop after sitting securely in place for days without incident. Fortunately, I managed to leap across the room and prevent it from wobbling onto the floor and smashing into pieces. Was this a ghost trying to tell me something, or just an eerie coincidence?

I find this happens a lot when I’m reading. It doesn’t seem to depend on what the subject matter is—often something innocuous that I usually wouldn’t pay any attention to—but all of sudden my world is saturated with it. The first time I consciously realised this was when I was around 9 or 10 years old and addicted to The Baby-sitters Club books. One of the characters took up synchronised swimming which I had not previously heard of, but began to consider it to be quite elegant. Then, I started noticing the sport everywhere I looked. I think that the Commonwealth Games may have been happening around that time which could partially explain it, but I’ve found this phenomenon happens to me on a fairly regular basis and can originate from a main character’s interest or hobby, the location of a murder, a quirky personality trait of one of the characters… just about anything really.

These days, my book of choice is a good old whodunnit. My shelves are crammed with murder mysteries, but I will read just about any piece of writing I can get my hands on. I treasure the way reading can highlight things all around us that we may otherwise remain oblivious to because of the constant bombardment of stimuli from all directions. So much can be hidden in plain sight. Reading encourages you to recognise and appreciate much more than you could ever hope to otherwise experience.

Now that I’ve had this spooky conversation with my mother, and spent today concentrating on the horror genre, I’m sure to notice (even if it’s only in my imagination) all sorts of creepy, ghostly happenings in the coming days. Thanks Mum!

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Emma is a freelance editor and writer who got her start at Newbie Writers two years ago. In her previous career she was an accountant, but escaped the numbers game to envelop herself in the literary world.

Emma’s Exceptional Editing & Proofreading
info@exceptionalediting.com.au
www.exceptionalediting.com.au
Follow me on Twitter: @EEEandP

I am surprised you are reading this, because I almost didn’t write it.  It’s been a rough year to say the least and writing has taken a backseat, but I can’t stay away.  When I do get a spare moment I find myself surfing through writing sites, reading blogs, and jotting down ideas into my pocket notebook.  I guess even though I don’t have a fine arts degree in English literature, or have yet to really publish, writing has gotten under my skin and I guess it’s here to stay.

It’s an outlet for me.  It’s a way of being creative.  I know some of the purist could point out every grammatical error in this post but is writing a technical process or is it an art form?  I prefer the latter and that it’s an expression of the writer and what that person has to say.  Not necessarily that they are saying it in perfect English.  After all some of the best characters we know murder the language with their own interjections, and slang.  It’s not irreverent it’s their voice. 

When I read something I want to be transported to that time, that place, which the writer is describing.  If they have done a good job of it you feel as if you are in the scene.  You are the guy sitting across the park on a bench feeding the pigeons.  You perspire yourself when the runner crosses the finish line.  That’s what writing is to me.  Its entertainment, its art, its knowledge shared.

I look at my writing with some degree of success because unlike the old adage “write what you know”, I often write about “what I want to know”.  So you may get a post about panning for gold, a post about reducing high blood pressure, or what diversionary tactic I used to get my four year old out the door to daycare that morning .  But I can guarantee that you and I will learn something together.

We don’t write because it’s a hobby or because we want to be the next J.K. Rowling, ok maybe I would like to have her income, but we write because it’s who we are and who we want to be.  Writing takes us places of unlimited possibilities through fiction.  It educates us through non-fiction.  And it finds us a home inside ourselves that we can either share to the world or tuck away in our journals to ponder on a rainy day. 

Whatever makes you write.  Keep it up.  You will soon find your voice. 

Who am I? I am new to the blog, but I have been writing seriously and sometimes not so seriously, for about eight years.  I have done some paid blogging, some grant writing, and even pondered a zine or two.  I am a newbie and probably always will be.  Your feedback is encouraged as I look forward to contributing to Newbie Writers and I know that I am in the presence of greatness even if you have not realized it yet.