It led me to consider how important music is in our fiction, and whether indeed we should we use it all? Some might argue that music dates a novel, which it inevitably does, but I think there are few novels out there that don’t date already themselves in some way. If you’d written a book in the early 90’s, you’d be unlikely to mention the internet, people didn’t have mobile phones clung to their ears, folk could still smoke cigarettes in restaurants…

Others would say that music is subjective and using particular songs may alienate some readers. Hmmm. I agree that you shouldn’t pick something too obscure – only seasoned ‘Musos’ are likely to research an unknown song in a novel and it can detract from the story. But to use something that is reasonably well known, that matches the mood you are trying to create, that resonates – can be a very effective tool. True, some people might not like the tune, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they will dislike your character. How many of your friends or partners have different musical tastes to you?

Music can also be a wonderful aid to atmosphere. The mention of a song, the tune in the background, even an individual lyric can either lift, lower, or freeze the mood of your scene.

My husband recently joked that I’ve lived with my characters for so long that they’ve become good friends. And he’s right (well, for most of them anyway). I want readers to relate to them in this way too, so that they jump out and grab you, and, when you finish the novel, you miss them dearly. I think music provides a great reference point, like a car or a place that everybody knows and relates to – that all important song that conjures up images and memories in your mind. Your mind, just like theirs.

I’ll go back to my research, but leave you with a list of music mentioned in An Unfamiliar Murder:

Snow Patrol – Eyes Open

Snow Patrol – Chasing Cars

Muse

The Intermezzo

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Jane Isaac’s first novel, An Unfamiliar Murder, is out on Amazon.com, Amazon.uk and Kindle worldwide now. Jane is still very much a Newbie and with a day job, a family and a very demanding black Labrador, she squeezes her writing into every spare moment she gets. You can catch up with her at www.janeisaac.co.uk

 “Hubby went away for a weekend with the guys and lost hundreds of dollars’ worth of fishing gear (and copped a good whack with a kayak paddle).”

No, I did not whack him with the paddle… the hunter became the hunted and it was the fish that taught him a lesson he won’t forget in a hurry.

We’ve had a couple of boats over the course of our marriage, but there’s always something not-quite-perfect about each one so Daniel gets fed up after a while and tries something new. His latest water-related purchase was a kayak.

Now, you might be thinking that Daniel decided on kayaking because it can be a lovely family activity; gently paddling down a smooth river, admiring the scenery and enjoying the outdoors. You’d be wrong.

Daniel decided that a kayak would be the perfect vessel from which to catch fish—and we’re not talking small fish here. His target, the barramundi, is often over 1 metre long and is a prized fighting fish in Australia. Trying to catch ol’ Baz from an itty bitty piece of plastic floating on the tropical, crocodile-infested waters of northern Queensland sounds like a great idea, right?

Daniel spent months perfecting the fitout of his ‘yak’. He built an icebox and installed fishing rod holders, a GPS, a sounder, and who knows what else. Finally, after months and months of him tinkering away at it, the kayak was finally ready for its maiden barramundi hunt.

After taking some time off work and making all the arrangements with his mates, they set off for an extended weekend of camping and fishing.

On their first day, one of the guys carelessly knocked his fishing rod out of its holder with his paddle. In seconds, the expensive rod, reel, and line sank down to its new watery home. Fortunately Aaron had brought a spare so the fishing continued.

The following day, Daniel hooked a huuuuuuge barra. According to his GPS it was towing him around at over 7 km/hour. I didn’t witness this, but in my mind I can see the orange kayak zooming around as if it were waterskiing behind an invisible boat. Eventually, the barra grew bored with this game and as quickly as it took the lure, spit it out and continued on its merry way.

Excited by the close call, Daniel found what looked to be the perfect fishing spot and cast his line. Accustomed to his usual fishing routine which consists of casting for hours, sitting around bored for hours, and not catching much (sorry Dan, but it’s true!), Daniel placed his rod in the holder for a moment as he reached down to adjust his oar (or something equally mundane). Needless to say, he was not quite ready for another hungry barra to attack the split-second that he let go of the fishing rod.

What could have simply been a case of Daniel’s fishing rod joining Aaron’s underwater turned into a much more costly and dangerous exercise. You see, after Daniel cast the line and was shifting around to put the rod in its holder, the fishing line looped over the tip of the rod. This is not a rare or unusual event, to resolve it a fisherman would normally twist or wiggle the rod slightly until the line comes free (or reach up and manually unloop the line.)

Daniel saw the line get caught. He knew he should fix it. He decided to do something else first.

Mr Barramundi did not want to wait for Daniel, so he took the lure when he was ready. Daniel was not.

Instead of the drag on the reel letting some line out, or the rod coming free of the rod holder à la Aaron’s experience, the line wrapped tight around the rod and flipped the entire kayak over!

Daniel says that one minute he was just sitting there minding his own business, the next he’s in the drink next to his upturned kayak, dazed and bruised from the oar which ‘broke his fall’ on both his head and his ribs as he was thrown into the water.

Eventually, Daniel managed to right the kayak and climb back on; all of the gear that he’d had with him gone. The fishing rod was taken so violently that the rod holder itself was physically ripped from the kayak, leaving a gaping hole which made Daniel’s attempts at flotation and paddling back to shore even more fun!

I wonder whether he’ll return to do battle on the kayak again or move on to another pastime. And I wonder how much other fishing equipment can be found below the waterline. I can just imagine those cheeky barramundi meeting up socially to boast about the humans they hooked that day and all the great fishing gear that they ‘caught’.

————————————————————————————
Emma is a freelance editor and writer who got her start at Newbie Writers two years ago. In her previous career she was an accountant, but escaped the numbers game to envelop herself in the literary world.

Emma’s Exceptional Editing & Proofreading
info@exceptionalediting.com.au
www.exceptionalediting.com.au
Follow me on Twitter: @EEEandP

F-Bombs Away! With special guest Dionne Lister

And here are more questions to answer

Plus a bit about conferences instead we’ll chat about Triberr.com

Special Shout Out:

Talk about Anne and www.becauseofbipolar.com.au Throw your support behind her. @AnneNaylor

I think we can both speak to these questions:

6. Does your own writing ever make you laugh or cry?
7. What made you fall in love with writing?
8. How do you feel while you are writing?
9. What other authors do you admire?
10. Do you listen to music when you write?
11. If you were not an author what would you be?
12. What are your other interests and what do you like to do when you’re not writing?
13. What are the last five books you have read?
The Immortal Life of Henreitta Lacks by Rebecca Skloorr, Build Your Writer’s Platform, by Teresa Le Yung Ryan (who is here at the SF Writer’s Conference) Own Your Niche by Stephanie Chandler (who we interviewed last week, and who is at this conference as well). The Hanging in the Hotel, by Simon Brett and Another Quiet American, Brett Dakin (about Laos). I also write up what I’ve been reading on my web site.

14. What do you get out of mentoring emerging writers?
15. What do you sacrifice to write?
We discussed this – sleep and TV
16. What is the most demeaning thing that has been said about you as a writer?
17. What do you consider your biggest failure?
18. What do you find to be the most challenging thing about writing?
19. What is your schedule when writing?
20. (The holy grail) What do you think makes a good story?

Word of the week:

defenestrate
www.dictionary.com
de·fen·es·trate
[dee-fen-uh-streyt]
verb (used with object), de·fen·es·trat·ed, de·fen·es·trat·ing.
to throw (a person or thing) out of a window.

verb
throw through or out of the window; “The rebels stormed the palace and defenestrated the President”
WordNet® 3.0, © 2006 by Princeton University.
**www.worldwidewords.org**

Bring out Your Dead

To Die, To Sleep.

Twas the dawn of a new day,
When all the world awoke but one.
With the creep of sunlight it marked decay,
The decision wasn’t hers to die, to sleep.

Twas four times death marked its spot.
The world stopped to wonder what that achieved.
She became the lone soldier they forgot.
When will the world lay down to die, to sleep?

Twas the chance to feel Deaths touch.
The human soul is not Gods’ to reap.
No-one daren’t say “In God we Trust”.
Avenge her death when I go to die, to sleep.

Twas a time when goodbye is not enough.
And the world sighed as her soul went to leave.
Such a little world that could hold so much love.
Her only escape from pain was to die, to sleep.

Twas when time went on as if all were forgotten.
When pain turns to remembrance as it reaches its peak,
For she has now become the Chosen
The pain that was attempts to die, to sleep.

Writing Prompt:

Writer’s Block:  When your imaginary friends won’t talk to you.

Write about writer’s block.  Believe it or not, when you are really stuck in your work, try writing:  I am really stuck, over and over.  Or try writing non-stop for ten minutes.  The act alone can help you break through.

Shout Outs:

Scott Fletcher, Kevin Mcleod and Dano Songs.
Tweep Nation, Justin Bogdanovitch.

Where to find us:

Dionne Lister: http:/dionnelister.wordpress.com @DionneLister
Catharine: http://www.yourbookstartshere.com @cbramkamp
Damien: http://www.newbiewriters.com @newbiewriters

But some crappy stuff happened too. Hubby went away for a weekend with the guys and lost hundreds of dollars’ worth of fishing gear (and copped a good whack with a kayak paddle). He’s also facing a dilemma regarding his work situation with a previous employer who is keen to entice him back to a bigger and better role.

This afternoon topped it all off. I had a call from Peyton’s day care centre saying that she has a bit of a fever and was basically sick and miserable. While I was talking to Miss Stacey, I grabbed my keys and my bag and headed outside.

I should have continued directly to my car but my eyes fell upon Buster’s food bowl. While I was mentally running through all the things I still needed to do this afternoon, I decided that now would be the easiest time to feed Buster since in the afternoon rush I would likely forget. As my phone call with Miss Stacey ended, I slipped my phone into the pocket on the front of my handbag and leaned down to scoop some dog biscuits out of their waterproof container. As I struggled with the handle, my handbag shifted slightly on my shoulder. Gravity did the rest.

My phone fell with a nice little ‘plop’ straight into Buster’s water bowl.

Quick as a flash I grabbed it and tried to dry the water (and disgusting dog saliva!) off, but it was too late. My precious lifeline to the outside world was completely drenched.

Unable to believe my luck, I trudged over to the car to pick up Peyton, but first pulled my phone apart in some foolishly optimistic hope that by letting it dry out everything would be fine. After collecting my poor little bubby, I doubled back to pick up Lachlan from school. All the while my phone was sitting in pieces on the front passenger seat.

Since my silly mistake I’ve been torn between reassembling my phone to see if it works and leaving it in pieces for a bit longer. After all, as long as I don’t put it together I don’t know whether it’s working or not, and therefore don’t have to be upset.

After settling Peyton for a nap and distracting Lockie with some toys I decided now would be as good a time as any to vent some of the frustration by sharing what had happened. I logged onto Facebook and divulged my terrible news. Immediately my mother wrote back asking, “Does it still work?”

Silly me. I thought I’d had enough little accidents for one day. Little did I know that the moment that I reached for my mouse to type a reply explaining my Schrödinger’s Cat-like theory about the condition of my phone, I would clumsily knock over the full glass of Coke.

In conclusion ladies and gentlemen, I have one sick baby, one probably-broken mobile phone, an entire desk’s worth of paperwork stained with soft drink and thrown in the bin, plus sticky spots all over the kitchen and lounge room floor from my frantic attempts to wipe up the mess.

Phew. At least some of the frustration has lifted by the simple act of writing it all down. But now that I’ve told you all how much of a klutz I am, I better get back to the task of tidying up.

At least the Coke didn’t spill onto my computer….

————————————————————————————
Emma is a freelance editor and writer who got her start at Newbie Writers two years ago. In her previous career she was an accountant, but escaped the numbers game to envelop herself in the literary world.

Guest:
Stephanie Chandler
Authority Publishing
877 800 1097

Our guest today is Stephanie Chandler

Stephanie Chandler is the author of several books including Booked Up! How to Write, Publish, and Promote a Book to Grow Your Business, From Entrepreneur to Infopreneur: Make Money with Books, eBooks and Information Products, and The Author’s Guide to Building an Online Platform: Leveraging the Internet to Sell More Books. Stephanie is also founder and CEO of http://AuthorityPublishing.com, which specializes in custom publishing for non-fiction books, and http://BusinessInfoGuide.com, a directory of resources for entrepreneurs. A frequent speaker at business events and on the radio, she has been featured in Entrepreneur Magazine, BusinessWeek, Inc.com, Wired magazine, and many other media outlets.
Stephanie, you advise writers to create a book proposal even if they are self publishing can you tell us more about that?
A book proposal is required when pitching a manuscript to literary agents or editors in pursuit of landing a traditional book deal. Similar to a business plan for an entrepreneur, writing a book proposal forces the author to dig in and do some important research while also planning the details of the book.
Though you can certainly self-publish a book without a proposal, this is where many new authors make some big mistakes when releasing their first books. Writing a proposal helps you differentiate your work from the competition, identify a need in the market for your materials, develop marketing plans, and create a concise and compelling manuscript.
Can you walk us through the steps?

Elements of a Book Proposal

1) Overview
An overview is typically two pages, summarizing the book, the market demand, and why you’re the best person to write the book. Even though it’s the first section in a book proposal, I usually write the overview last because it is a summary of the rest of the elements of the proposal.

2) Synopsis
This is a compelling summary of your book, typically two or three pages long. It should hook the reader and compel him to want to read more. You can also view this as an extended version of the sales copy used on the book jacket. If you’re pursuing an agent or editor, this is where you can really get their attention. The exercise of writing the synopsis helps you position your book as a must-read, while developing key talking points about why your book is great. (And it is great, right? If not, then use this opportunity to go back to work and make it great!)

3) Market Demand
Here is the place to identify your specific target audience. Better yet, quantify that market. Look for statistics on how many potential readers are out there. For example, if you have written a business book for women, find stats on how many women business owners are in the U.S.

4) Competitive Analysis
Identify five or more books that are potential competitors of your book and explain in detail how your book is different or better than each title. There are many benefits to this exercise. First, competing titles demonstrate that there is a need in the market for your subject matter. Second, this is where you can focus on differentiation for your book. You will want to understand the competition so that you can ensure that your book stands out. If you do nothing else, make sure you spend time analyzing the competition so that you can answer the question, “How is your book different from the rest?”

5) Marketing Plan
Every author needs a marketing plan, which should be in motion long before the book is in print. Agents and editors look for authors with a “platform,” which means that the author should come to the party with a built-in audience of people who are ready to buy the book. A platform can include speaking to thousands of people each year, running a high-traffic blog or website, maintaining a large mailing list (thousands of people) or having other networks that can generate impressive book sales.
Another important consideration is that agents don’t want to see what you will do, they want to see what are doing–the marketing efforts you’re making long before the book becomes reality. And remember, even if you’re self-publishing, there is an important lesson here. If you want your books to sell, you should begin building your audience early. Book marketing requires ongoing effort. Some tactics to consider for your marketing plan include blogging, social media engagement, professional speaking, writing articles, working with joint venture partners, building a mailing list, conducting media interviews, and spending time in communities where your target audience can be found.

6) Chapter Outline
Even if your manuscript is still in progress, a solid chapter outline demonstrates the flow of the book and the materials covered. Below each chapter heading, include a brief synopsis of the content within the chapter. A chapter outline should have a logical flow of information with compelling chapter titles.

7) About the Author
Here is where you should convince the reader that you are the right person to write this book. This should not be an extended biography about where you grew up and what schools you attended–unless these details are relevant to the book. Instead, it should focus on your experience as it relates to your book. Mention any previous media coverage you have received or involvement in any groups or associations that reach your target audience.

8.) Sample Chapters
When reviewing non-fiction books, most agents and editors want to see two or three sample chapters. These don’t need to be in order, but they should represent your best work.
The truth is that writing a book proposal is hard work, but the exercise of doing so will inevitably help prepare you for success–whether you plan to pursue a traditional book contract of self-publish your work.

Bring out your dead

Picasso could never paint what I have seen,
Nor Beethoven play to my heart.
There’s a place in your heart where the words still linger,
Like the warmth of a long summer day.

In his mind the world of inks and dyes collide,
To paint a self-portrait only he believes.
A picture based on guilt and pride,
The unsteady hand tries to shows us what he sees.

So tell me a different story,
Tell me something filled with joy,
Use words that I don’t normally hear.
For when the words that are remembered,
And the listening ears that finally seem to hear…
Use the words that I can paint one thousand pictures.

Word of the week

http://www.worldwidewords.org
—Michael Quinion–
G K Chesterton called the cleerihew a “severe and stately form of free verse”, but then he had been a close friend from schooldays of the man who invented it, Edmund Bentley. Indeed, Chesterton illustrated the first book of whimsical verses, Biography for Beginners, which Bentley published in 1905 under the name of E. Clerihew.

The cover of the first edition of Bentley’s book of clerihews

The form is slight but not slighting, conventionally consisting of a quatrain with the name of the biographee as the first line. The lines are of unequal lengths, rhymed AABB, often written in a flat-footed or mangled way more reminiscent of prose than verse. The first, which Edmund Bentley is said to have composed during a boring science class at St Paul’s School, was:

Sir Humphry Davy
Abominated gravy.
He lived in the odium
Of having discovered sodium.

Clerihew was Bentley’s middle name, which was given him (and which he in turn passed to his son Nicholas) to perpetuate his mother’s maiden name, Margaret Richardson Clerihew, Clerihew being an old Scottish surname. It was applied to the verse form by others and seems to have first surfaced in its own right as the name in 1928.

Another example:

Sir Christopher Wren
Said, “I am going to dine with some men.
If anyone calls
Say I am designing St. Paul’s.”

Someone who creates clerihews is a clerihewer, an appropriate term for a person who hacks such lines out of the living language.

Writing Prompt

All this information can be overwhelming to a newbie writer. Take a few minutes and write about what you do when you do nothing. Maybe you are doing it right now. What is your favorite thing to do when you do nothing? Write it down, and remember it when you get overwhelmed.

Stephanie can be found: http://AuthorityPublishing.com, which specializes in custom publishing for non-fiction books, and http://BusinessInfoGuide.com,
Catharine can be found: http://www.yourbookstartshere.com @cbramkamp
Damien can be found: http://www.newbiewriters.com @newbiewriters.

The last week has been a surreal experience. I have been overwhelmed by the lovely feedback on Twitter and Facebook, and great reviews on Amazon – a truly thrilling, yet humbling experience. I realise that this will not continue indefinitely, so I am trying to soak it all up while it lasts.

Any dreams of sitting with my feet up, watching my books fly off the shelves, responding to the odd interview, waned long ago. Oh, the book is selling and reviews are great, but whether you’re with a large or small house publishing house, or publishing yourself, you are expected to get out there and promote, promote, promote. This is particularly important for a Newbie, as you don’t have a string of bestsellers or a readership base already established, eagerly awaiting your release.

This week I have been preparing for my blog tour. (Just in case you are not familiar – I wasn’t until a month or two ago – a blog tour is a series of interviews, postings and book spotlights that will appear on various blogs across the internet over the next couple of months.) After a week of filling in interviews and penning posts I’m about a quarter done with that.

I’m eagerly awaiting the arrival of the paperbacks in the UK. It does feel strange that they are available to buy in the US and not in my home country – but I guess they’ll be here soon enough. In anticipation, I’ve spoken to my local bookstores to see if they will stock my book and to pre-arrange some signings. As a Newbie, published by a small US house, I admit feeling quite apprehensive about this. But they could not have been more helpful, welcoming and accommodating.

My next job is to find a book launch venue. I anticipated a small event, maybe in a book store or library, with family and friends, and perhaps a book reading. My husband has other ideas. By the time he has finished with me I’ll have a full blown party with live band and all. I should be flattered – he’s incredibly supportive and so proud. When we finally find a venue, I’ll share it with you over the weeks to come.

The delicious news is that I’m getting back into writing book two (when I can squeeze in the time!). Finding a balance between writing the fiction I love and promoting my first baby is proving quite a challenge, but I can think of worst dilemmas…

Twitter:                @JaneIsaacAuthor

Face Book:          Jane Isaac Author

Website:           www.janeisaac.co.uk 

Jane Isaac’s first novel, An Unfamiliar Murder, is out on Amazon.com, Amazon.uk and Kindle worldwide now. Jane is still very much a Newbie and with a day job, a family and a very demanding black Labrador, she squeezes her writing into every spare moment she gets.

Traveling with the iPad, comments etc.

The Good: the iPad is marvelous for travel. It’s small, light and I carried it with me at all times ( I did buy a new travel purse, not to be confused with my good purse nor with my everyday Dooney and Bourke purses). I carried the iPad and my camera and money and if I wanted, a water bottle, but the bottle was too heavy.
The iPad turns on as soon as the cover opens, so making notes in Pages was easy. I opened it up, made a few notes, and closed it. For someone who previously traveled with a Mac Book, this instant access is like a tiny miracle.
I recommend the Pages app for 10 dollars because even though the journal apps are fun, they aren’t as easily transferrable to my main computer. I added photos to the journal entries to keep track of where and what I was doing.
The key board takes getting use to, but I became fairly proficient. It does work on busses, planes, trains, most modes of transportation (not motor bikes, you must stick with texting while perched on the back of a motorbike).
I loved the long battery life and I loved carrying one device that included email, all my books and writing. I was able to download two books from Amazon and read them immediately while in transit (from Vietnam, I tried this last year while in Syria and the books didn’t download until I arrived home, so this is an improvement).
I traveled in January 2012 – I was not the only traveler carrying an iPad. I saw people carrying iPad’s in Vientiane, while waiting at the boarder in Laos, on the plane to Bangkok. This seemed to be the new traveler accessory, considerably more flattering than a waist pack.

The Bad: The key board features the auto fill function, just like the tiny key boards on the smart phone. The auto fill is very difficult if you are writing down foreign place names.
It will also thwart your efforts to employ polysyllabic words, so there is a great deal of back spacing involved during data entry. And the foreign words and phrases are not found in the spell checker.

The Ugly:
The worst thing about the iPad is that though I could upload all my photos into it during the trip so I could see and edit on the spot, I could also organize the photos into albums, which I spent time doing – but it was on busses and planes, so it gave me something interesting to do. The problem is that when I hit the synch command to send all these great photos and albums to the main computer , the albums did not synch and the photos ended up just consolidated into one huge event. I was not happy at all.

Damien:
1. What scares you about writing?
2. What do you see yourself doing in terms of your writing in five, then ten years time? Do you see yourself making writing a fulltime career?
3. What do you sacrifice to write?

Catharine:
1. When did you know you were going to be a writer?
2. What sparks the ideas for your books?
3. How personal is your writing?
4. What is the one (most important) piece of advice you would give someone who wants to be a writer, or is a newbie writer?
5. What is your favourite thing that you have written (maybe one or two paragraphs called Bring our your living rather than Bring out your dead)? I would be very interested to hear you read a tiny bit of that work (not reams of it, of course).

6. Does your own writing ever make you laugh or cry?
7. What made you fall in love with writing?
8. How do you feel while you are writing?
9. What other authors do you admire?
10. Do you listen to music when you write?
11. If you were not an author what would you be?
12. What are your other interests and what do you like to do when you’re not writing?
13. What are the last five books you have read?
14. What do you get out of mentoring emerging writers?
15. What do you sacrifice to write?
16. What is the most demeaning thing that has been said about you as a writer?
17. What do you consider your biggest failure?
18. What do you find to be the most challenging thing about writing?
19. What is your schedule when writing?
20. (The holy grail) What do you think makes a good story?
Damien and Catharine, you don’t have to answer these questions. I have just been thinking about what I would ask you both, if I had the chance.
Thanks Damien, for having me on the show. It was a blast.
Happy writing.
Anne

Bring out your dead
Or Catharine’s favorite pieces:

Death Watch

Grief makes you hungry

Not for justice

for taco flavored Doritos
and bags of the new bites –
bite size comfort candy in
Reese’s, Heath Bar, Rollo, Goodbar
Yellow bags of tasty trash, we unconsciously eat them
by the handfuls
between hours of watching
the rise and fall
of scattering breathing by
the loved one

cookies
more chips
a bowl of “Cowboy Casserole”
that by law
should be filled with rattlesnake and buffalo
we dared my brother-in-law to eat a spoonful
he only found lima beans

The Mexican restaurant down the street
plays the soccer game loudly
followed by juke box music of an artist
who is big in Mexico City
but just background noise tonight
the noise carries comfort
California normal

it’s not a matter of questioning
the order of the universe

in a half hearted attempt
fruit was offered one afternoon

we looked up at the sky
and asked for the potato chips
the cupcakes
those cookies with coconut and chocolate

sugar to serve up more tears
life is so fucking short
pass the dessert
we will eat that first.

From Ammonia Sunrise – Finishing Line Press)

Word of the week:

RANNYGAZOO

It’s a century-old term, now rare, for a deceptive story or scheme, pranks, tricks or other irritating or foolish carryings-on. If it’s familiar to you, especially if you’re not native to its former US heartland, it may be because you are widely read in the works of P G Wodehouse. He used it a lot, and is credited with being the first person to commit it to print.

Prompt:

We are a visual culture. The automatic response to, how was your trip? Is to immediately inflict all 1,397 photos on the hapless inquirer. But often we don’t capture the essence of experience through photography.
I have a picture of me and an elephant, but what is interesting is the story of how the elephant rolled me into the Mekong. Twice.
What have you done recently that was memorable but has no accompanying photos?
is it possible to experience something and not have a photo of it?
Write about an adventure that does not have an accompanying photo.

Shout Outs:

Justhost.com
The Tweep Nation!
Jennifer Sosniak: http://www.jennifersosniakbooks.com/

Where to Find Us:

Catharine: www.yourbookstartshere.com @cbramkamp
Damien: www.newbiewriters.com @newbiewriters

An hour or so later, I noticed a warm hue as a rash started to creep up my neck. I had let my baby go, cast her into the world. But what if nobody likes her? Eeek!

I read about other writers. It appears that even well known writers like Elly Griffiths, just released her fourth crime thriller, and Peter James bestseller author of over 25 books feels that bout of anxiety when their book first enters the world. A couple of reviews later and some feedback on Face book, and I relaxed into the journey.

Last weekend I got the most wonderful parcel through the post: my personal copies of An Unfamiliar Murder. Holding my book in my hand for the first time felt like one of those times when your life is put on hold to allow you to step back and savour the moment – a memory to keep close forever; like getting married, having a child, passing a special exam.

Most of us Newbies worry about what others will think and sometimes this forms a barrier to sharing our work. But what we don’t realise is that many artists feel this way, initially. And we live in a subjective world. How often have you been to a movie, read a book, watched a show that you considered great – only to have a friend or colleague say that they didn’t like it, it wasn’t their thing?

I firmly believe that if you write about what you know, something you are interested in, something you would like to read yourself, then there will always be someone out there who will engage and enjoy. And if you never share, you’ll never experience that adrenalin rush of clutching your book for the first time. I’m sure other authors out there will agree with me – it’s worth its weight in gold.

Twitter:                @JaneIsaacAuthor

Face Book:          Jane Isaac Author

Website:           www.janeisaac.co.uk 

Jane Isaac’s first novel, An Unfamiliar Murder, is out on Amazon.com, Amazon.uk and Kindle worldwide now. Jane is still very much a Newbie and with a day job, a family and a very demanding black Labrador, she squeezes her writing into every spare moment she gets.

Episode 17

Newbie Writers Podcast

January 21  (Catharine is eating locusts from street vendors)

Guest Jane Isaac and Lyle Perez.

The Ultimate Newbie Experience.

Jane is the living proof of a newbie becoming a published author.

What was the process involved? What sparked the story idea?

Dionne Lister asks: What has been the best part of the process for her? What was her reaction when she found out Rainstorm Press wanted to publish her works?

We pick Lyle’s brain on the initial reaction to reading Jane’s draft, what was it that made him want to publish it? What tips for new writers can be drawn from this?

We find out how Rainstorm Press is going and any new authors to look out for.

Jane’s been apart of Newbie Writers since 2007, certainly longer than I have. We ask what her thoughts on how Newbie Writers has changed, how it’s progressed.

Prompt:

“Nothing happens unless first a dream” – Carl Sandburg
spend twenty minutes on your dream. What do you really want to write? Not what sells, not what you think is “you” not what you think is trendy, just what you want to write, what you want to spend a year messing around with.
Really, twenty minutes – go!

Bring out your dead:

Contributed by Anne Naylor of www.becauseofbipolar.com.au
Too late she discovered she had married a psychopath.
It was the day after their wedding and they were in the presidential suite of a luxury hotel. They were finally on their honeymoon, about to start life as husband and wife.
He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her towards him. Magic was about to happen. They slid under the covers. He kissed her gently, then pulled the blankets over her head. She was confused. Why was he holding the blanket so tightly. He knew she was claustrophobic. She struggled against him, but he was too strong. He wouldn’t release her.
A foul stench filled the air. Surely not. He couldn’t have. He wouldn’t have. But undeniably, he had. The assault on her senses was silent, but deadly. Finally, after an eternity, he pulled back the blankets and she gasped as she gulped unpolluted air.
She was furious. Shocked and horrified. She berated herself for marrying a psychopath. Well, if not a psychopath, then a fifteen year old boy masquerading as a twenty-five year old man. He laughed, clearly very pleased with himself. ‘Welcome to marriage!’ he said. ‘What do you mean?’ she replied. She stared at him, bewildered. ‘It’s a Dutch oven’, he explained. A marriage ritual. It’s good luck.’
She thought it was surely a bad omen.
‘You’ll pay for this one day’, she said.
(And twenty years later, she did.)

Word of the week

www.worldwidewords.org

FUSTILUGS

In those moments when only insults will do, how good it is to turn to the inventive but unsung genius of everyday folk, whose local dialect is so often full of expressive abuse. This word, meaning a grossly fat or slovenly woman, is an excellent example.

It still has some small currency, mostly in Yorkshire I believe, though at one time it was widely known across a swathe of England ranging from Cumbria to Devon. That it will almost certainly be unknown to the object of your obloquy will add relish to your utterance, though it might not be too hard to work out it isn’t complimentary. It has rarely been written down outside dialect glossaries, but it did appear in 1621 in a long passage full of terms of opprobrium in The Anatomy of Melancholy by Robert Burton: “Every lover admires his mistress, though she be … a vast virago, or an ugly tit, a slug, a fat fustilugs”.

Shout Outs/ Sponsors:

Jane shouts out to the entire Twitter gang!

Damien says hi to Dianne Solberg and her Mum!

Rainstorm Press deal: newbie40 is the coupon. Gets you 40% off ANY purchase you make at www.rainstormpress.com

Where to find us:
Damien: www.newbiewriters.com
Jane Isaac: http://www.janeisaac.co.uk/
Lyle Perez: www.rainstormpress.com

Subscribe to us via email!

It was with disbelief that I listened to Damien, Anne and Dionne as they unanimously agreed that it’s perfectly acceptable to abandon a book if it’s boring or uninteresting. I’ll concede that they did describe this inexplicable activity as occurring only if, after a number of pages or chapters, they’re not drawn to the story, but I’m no less stunned. In fact, I’m breaking out into a cold sweat just thinking about it.

Distressed, I raised my concerns with a friend but to my dismay she agreed wholeheartedly with Damien, Anne and Dionne. It was then that I realised I’ve yet another trait to add to my ever-growing list of quirks and eccentricities.

Throughout my entire life I’ve never—and I literally mean never—been able to start reading a book without finishing it. Obviously, I’ve come across atrocious books that are so poorly worded you’re constantly re-reading to try to understand what the author is saying. There are dull books, ridiculously far-fetched books, and then there are those that make you wish you could grab the author by the shoulders and yell, “What were you thinking?!”

And yet, I will read each and every single word.

I certainly don’t seek out a miserable reading experience. I want to be enthralled. As Jane mentioned, I want to find writing so good I forget I’m reading. However, if I’m unfortunate enough to select a piece of less-than-acceptable literature, I feel some sort of obligation to see it through.

As a result of this compulsion, I’ve read entire works that I detest, simply because I began. And although the story may not thrill me, the pleasure I derive from the actual act of reading itself has always been enough to counteract everything I’ve come across to date.

Damien, your invitation to blog with Newbie Writers! is proving itself to be a cathartic experience. Each week I’m discovering more and more weird unique things about myself. I wonder if (Ok, secretly I hope) someone, somewhere, is just as strange as me. Anyone?

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Emma is a freelance editor and writer who got her start at Newbie Writers two years ago. In her previous career she was an accountant, but escaped the numbers game to envelop herself in the literary world.